John Belushi Rises From Dead, Kicks Dan Aykroyd’s Ass Over Career Choices

In an extremely rare public appearance, John Belushi rose from the dead Monday morning and verbally and physically accosted Dan Aykroyd  at the Binny’s Beverage Depot on North Clark Street.  A surprisingly fit and tan Belushi, pummeled his former partner with punches while screaming, “Yogi F***ing Bear! Christmas With the Kranks! Those awful Binny’s commercials! Seriously what were you thinking?”. After the brief clash, Belushi sampled Binny’s fine array of port cheeses and briefly posed for pictures. Like a true professional Aykroyd went back to autographing  bottles of Crystal Head vodka and had no comment.