Santa Disregards Parking Payboxes, Owes Chicago $123,890.98


sled boot 2The Chicago Department of Revenue confirmed Thursday that Santa Claus racked up almost 2500 parking violations between 12:45 AM and 1:47 AM on Christmas Day. In a Thursday morning press conference, City spokesperson, Martin Prescott said:

“It appears Mr. Claus didn’t feel he should abide by Chicago’s parking ordinances. I find it hard to believe that a man that can navigate the world, alter the space time continuum and flawlessly deliver billion of packages can’t figure out the easy to follow instructions on our clearly marked payboxes. Let me also mention, that in the Christmas spirit, we’re waiving the 3900 red light ¬†camera violations that he committed.”

Reached at his Palm Desert, California vacation retreat Santa Claus replied, “There was a paybox on like every corner. Seriously, who was the reindeer’s ass that created that system? Fine, I’ll see you in a hundred years about the time the Cubs win a World Series. Idiots.”


 

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