Chicago Bears Sign Jay Cutler To Seven Year Contract, Only Gives His Condescending Smirk Three

Jay+Cutler+Premiere+Summit+Entertainment+Source+NuQRIYP9ta1lIn a Thursday morning press conference, the Chicago Bears announced that Jay Cutler will not be testing free agency and has been signed to a seven year contract.

In announcing the new contract, Bears General Manager Phil Emery called Cutler “a demonstrated winner” and said 2013 was his best season because of his “leadership, his improvement, his display of toughness.” However, he didn’t seem as enamored with Cutler’s facial expressions.

Honestly, we’re a bit concerned with Jay’s face. We had a long discussion with Jay’s condescending smirk, his constant look of aloofness and his “everybody wants to punch his face” face. We’re willing to lock Jay’s general aura of disinterest for the first three years, but will revisit his stand-offish conceit in 2017.

Emory did not address Josh McCown’s unbridled look of enthusiam and good cheer.